This week on Real Talk with Rachael, I’m talking to mother and daughter Dr. Helen McIntosh and Blythe Daniel, authors of Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters.
Blythe Daniel is an author, literary agent, and marketer with 25 years of experience in media and publishing. She has written for Focus on the Family, Proverbs 31 Ministries, and Christian Retailing. She conducts blog, podcast, and publicity campaigns and helps authors publish their books. She lives in Colorado with her husband and children.
Dr. Helen McIntosh (EdD, Counseling Psychology) is a counselor, speaker, educator, and author. Her work has appeared in several national outlets including Guideposts, ParentLife, and HomeLife magazines. She resides in Dalton, Georgia with her husband Jim. They have two children, including Blythe McIntosh Daniel, and are grandparents five times over.
Key Points from Our Conversation:
- Moms often do the hard work without getting a thank you. Speaking encouraging words over a mom does something inside her heart and inside our hearts.
- If we want appreciation from our kids, we need to start by encouraging them. Being the initiator allows our kids to say kind things back to us.
- When we’re in a hard relationship we tend to blame the other person, but Matthew 7 reminds us to focus on the issues in our own hearts.
- If you have a broken relationship with your mother, remember that words bring life and death. Commit yourself to only speaking words of life.
- Instead of telling our children what they should be doing, we can ask them if this is an area they’d like us to speak into. Honor and be humble before the other person. Even if we get it wrong, we can ask for forgiveness.
- When we overhelp, it implies we think our child cannot do something well.
- God designed us in a way that the relationship between child and mother is foundational. You can honor a mother who didn’t necessarily earn it by separating the mess from the relationship and being a blessing builder.
- Don’t get so overwhelmed by your yeses that you can’t be focused and intentional during the season while the kids are in your house. God will meet the desires of our hearts when we sacrifice for our kids.
- You don’t have to be perfect. You’re not alone in feeling underappreciated or overwhelmed. You’re making a difference and you’re doing well.
- If you feel discouraged, take it to the Lord. He’ll show you what the deeper issue is.
Let’s Get Real Practical:
Grieve the lack of a relationship with your mom if you didn’t have it and consider seeing a therapist to help you process those wounds.